So today I realized that I have been seriously slacking on my diet and my promises to myself. I tried to make up reasonable excuses and began to get really mad at myself. I'm just a creature of habit, it's hard to break me out of what I'm already comfortable in. See what I did there? Although true, it's another excuse. So I'm writing down a to-do list and making sure I complete it tomorrow. I'm hopefully taking mom out to lunch and getting things back in order tomorrow.
I don't know if anybody else feels the way I do, but if my room/car is messy, then I feel like my entire life is unorganized, and I cannot seem to function properly. Sad thing is, I don't want to clean my room or my car, but I desperately want for them to be clean.
I have one month exactly to lose as much weight as possible before my trip to New York City. I'm glad to write this down because I can read it every day and remind myself why I'm doing this. I have had a lot of support and so far have lost 28 pounds, and somewhere along the line I go back to my old ways, ignoring how far I've come. I don't understand myself at all when it comes to that, when I think of how far I've come and then realize I started to tear it apart. I despise myself for that, and it's downhill from there. I wish I were a stronger person. I have all the right reasons and motivations to keep this going, so why can't I do it?
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