In the previous post, I really forgot to clarify what my dream was about, and why it struck me the way it did. All the information I put in the previous entry kind of stemmed from the dream itself, and that's why it's so vivid in my mind.
The dream was so normal- My dad was sitting in my mom's room. My mom was sitting next to him, and she was smiling. Even in the dream, it wasn't my "Parent's bedroom" it was my mom's. This is because in the dream, my dad really had been gone for quite some time. I was 23, it was another normal day, and there's my dad, looking exactly as he should.
I remember asking him in the dream where he'd been... It was like he was gone, but not dead, for the past nine years. This is what he told me, and this is why I'm so emotional over it. He said that he had been thinking, and figuring things out, and trying to find better ways of doing things in his life so that he could do them with his family. He told me this, in my dream: He said "Cait, I wish that I could take back all the things I did in the past, that I could find a way to turn them all around. I wish I could..." And then I woke up.
It's unbelievable how much I feel like it wasn't just an ordinary dream, that it was some kind of message from my dad. I know it sounds insane and crazy to think like that, I'm not a spiritual person so to speak, but it didn't feel like an ordinary jumble of random thoughts throughout the day. It was so much deeper and more personal. I believe I had that dream to remind me that my dad, although wrong in many ways during his life, wasn't a bad person, the way I had felt about him after he had died. He made serious mistakes, like a lot of other people do, and I think that if he were here with us today, if he had a second chance, he really would have turned himself around. I truly believe that, and I miss him.
No comments:
Post a Comment